Common feelings include: sadness shock denial numbness, a sense of unreality anger guilt blame relief Emotions People might feel or act differently to usual. They might have difficulty concentrating, withdraw and not enjoy their usual activities. Physical health Grief can be exhausting and this may weaken the immune system , making people prone to colds and other illness. Grief can affect the appetite and lead to changes in weight.
It can affect sleep and leave people feeling very tired. It can also lead to stomach aches, headaches and body aches. Spiritual life Some people may experience dreams about their loved one, feeling their presence or hearing their voice. People who are grieving often search for meaning and examine their spiritual beliefs.
Some people find positive experiences following grief and loss, such as a new sense of wisdom, maturity and meaning in life.
In some people, grief can be prolonged or more intense, and it may interfere with their ability to cope with everyday life. This may be more likely if the loss was particularly traumatic, such as a suicide or death of a child. If you are experiencing persistent feelings of sadness and despair, and are unable to experience happiness, you may be experiencing the symptoms of depression.
Healing happens over time. If you are experiencing grief or loss, you may always carry some sadness and miss a person once they are gone, but the painful, intense feelings should gradually subside. It eventually becomes easier to deal with life.
It is natural to cry. Many people find crying a relief. Exploring and expressing emotions can be a part of the healing process. Listening to music or writing can help. Time spent alone can allow you to connect with your emotions. Set a regular daily routine and do something special for yourself every day. Try to go for a walk, eat healthily , meditate and relax.
Talking to your doctor, people at a support group or a relative or friend you trust can be a big help. Accept offers of help, talk about your loved one, or simply spend time with others. Honour the life of the person who has died. Collect photos or keepsakes, write a journal, write a letter to the person who died, or share stories and rituals with others. These can all help to create meaning after loss.
Get some regular exercise , eat healthy food and make sure you have enough sleep. Avoid recreational drugs and keep alcohol use to a sensible level. Birthdays, anniversaries or holidays can trigger intense feelings of grief. It may help to mark these occasions with a simple ceremony like lighting a candle, playing music or gathering with family.
Get in touch and be available to spend time together. Respect that your friend may need to cry, hug, talk, be silent or be alone. It can be difficult to know what to say, particularly if you have not experienced grief before.
There may be no words that can really help, but listening can be a great support. Spend some time doing ordinary and positive things like watching a movie, going for a walk or having a meal together. Grief may last for a long time. Every person grieves differently and there is no set timeframe for how long grief may last.
Some people may mourn for 6 months, others for several years. There are many factors involved in how long grief may last. As each day goes by you are moving forward, but the phrase moving on can feel as though you need to get over the passing of a loved one.
For more information and support, try these resources: Lifeline offer hour crisis support. Headspace offers excellent resources to help you cope. Parentline — 8 am to 12 midnight, 7 days a week, call 13 22 Many times, people show their emotions during this time, like crying. But sometimes people can be so shocked or overwhelmed by the death that they don't show any emotion right away — even though the loss is very hard. People might smile and talk with others at a funeral as if nothing happened, but they're still sad.
Being among other mourners can be a comfort, reminding us that some things will stay the same. When the rituals end, some people might think they should be over their grief. But often the grief process is just beginning. People may go back to their normal activities but find it hard to put their heart into everyday things. Although they may not talk about their loss as much, the grieving process continues. If someone you know has died, it's natural to keep having feelings and questions for a while.
It's also natural to begin to feel a bit better. A lot depends on how a loss affects your life. It's OK to feel grief for days, weeks, or even longer. How intensely you feel grief can be related to things like whether the loss was sudden or expected, or how close you felt to the person who died. Every person and situation is different. Feeling better usually happens gradually. At times, it might feel like you'll never recover. The grieving process takes time, and grief can be more intense at some times than others.
As time goes on, reminders of the person who has died can intensify feelings of grief. At other times, it might feel as if grief is in the background of your normal activities, and not on your mind all the time.
As you do things you enjoy and spend time with people you feel good around, you can help yourself feel better. Grief has its own pace. Every situation is different. How much grief you feel or how long it lasts isn't a measure of how important the person was to you. If you're grieving, it can help to express your feelings and get support, take care of yourself, and find meaning in the experience.
Take a moment to notice how you've been feeling and reacting. Try to put it into words. Write about what you're feeling and the ways you're reacting to grief. Notice how it feels to think about and write about your experience. Think of someone you can share your feelings with, someone who will listen and understand. Find time to talk to that person about what you're going through and how the loss is affecting you.
For some people, feelings of loss are debilitating and don't improve even after time passes. This is known as complicated grief, sometimes called persistent complex bereavement disorder. In complicated grief, painful emotions are so long lasting and severe that you have trouble recovering from the loss and resuming your own life. Different people follow different paths through the grieving experience. The order and timing of these phases may vary from person to person:.
These differences are normal. But if you're unable to move through these stages more than a year after the death of a loved one, you may have complicated grief. If so, seek treatment. It can help you come to terms with your loss and reclaim a sense of acceptance and peace. During the first few months after a loss, many signs and symptoms of normal grief are the same as those of complicated grief.
However, while normal grief symptoms gradually start to fade over time, those of complicated grief linger or get worse. Complicated grief is like being in an ongoing, heightened state of mourning that keeps you from healing.
Contact your doctor or a mental health professional if you have intense grief and problems functioning that don't improve at least one year after the passing of your loved one.
At times, people with complicated grief may consider suicide. If you're thinking about suicide, talk to someone you trust. If you think you may act on suicidal feelings, call or your local emergency services number right away.
Or call a suicide hotline number. It's not known what causes complicated grief. As with many mental health disorders, it may involve your environment, your personality, inherited traits and your body's natural chemical makeup.
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